you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
