So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
im holly from the hills drunk
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize