oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Randomize
