bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
