Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
