I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Holy shit dude........stairs
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
