Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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