I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I'M GOING TO DIE ALONE WITHOUT ANYONE PRETENDING TO BE A MARRIED COUPLE WHILE DRUNK AT A MALL WITH ME
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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