i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Randomize
