Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
