i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
