actually, I'm a sock model
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
So much easier to puke and rally now that my gluten's under control
we are the apple cider girls!
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
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