Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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