Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Randomize
