Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize