Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
