Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
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