my shit smells like andre
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
