Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
