What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Dude I'm at a Marijuana dispensary party. They are giving away BAGS of edibles
How do you keep ending up in these situations?
My dad is their accountant
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
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