community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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