Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
He has the fingertips of a God
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
