So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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