So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Randomize
