she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
this will be a night to untag.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
