try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
