you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Randomize
