So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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