Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
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