About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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