dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
