There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
They're taking me to ER. Mistasnkingly. Come get me.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
