Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
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