he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
