$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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