We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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