I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Randomize
