ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
