I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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