I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
Randomize
