are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Somehow I've got the party rigged to where I get a foot massage every time someone wants a beer out of the fridge. Hellz yeah
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
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