She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
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