I think my vagina is haunted
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Everclear isn't food dammit
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
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