Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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