i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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