Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Randomize
