Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
