A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
