I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
How do I politely say my vagina is not a chew toy and if you bite me again I will slap you?
You could say take it easy, whoa there, be gentle, anything that doesn't fully convey the horror.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
Randomize
