Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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