I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
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