I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
