I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
