So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
Randomize
