Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
