It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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