Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Hey the moment you step into my house, find me IMMEDIATELY so we can pinky promise on not roping anyone at the party into yet another threesome
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
