This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
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