Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
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