Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Randomize
