the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
