Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
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