i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Life is so much better after having sex.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
