you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
