It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
