I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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