Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I'd like to introduce you to my friend, Moderation. Enjoy each other's company this weekend.
Your friend and I already don't get along
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
