It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
